<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Cold water by GeeSam</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29595813">Cold water</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeeSam/pseuds/GeeSam'>GeeSam</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Burn Out, Dream is sad, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda?, Panic Attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:41:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29595813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeeSam/pseuds/GeeSam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dream has a panic attack and a burn out.</p>
<p>If you see something you might find uncomfortable in the tags, don't read!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cold water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello!</p>
<p>So I wrote this one at 3am and didn't proof read it that well so sorry if there's a lot of mistakes. </p>
<p>This one in based on personal experience, unfortunately. It's nothing bad but just don't read if you're not comfortable, thanks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why…”</p>
<p>Dream’s face felt like it was on fire. The tears didn’t work anymore, didn’t wash away the pain like they used to.</p>
<p>Crying had become dull after a while. At first he relished the feeling of peace after letting out his sadness. The emptiness that followed the tears was blissful, something he sought after, so he didn’t try to hold in the tears the next time. Nor the time after that. Short moments of weakness turned into breakdowns over time and this was the second time this week. At least he felt a lot better afterwards. </p>
<p>But like always, all good things, no matter how small, must come to an end.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>He felt nothing. Not even screaming at the top of his lungs helped anymore. He screamed and screamed, occasionally letting out a psychotic laugh, making his throat hurt like hell. All for nothing. </p>
<p>Eventually, after pacing around in his room panicked, he’d made his way into the bathroom. He tried to steady himself against the cold tile wall, leaning his back against it. That felt like something. The cool surface reminding him of the fact that he could still feel.</p>
<p>“WHY!”</p>
<p>It had been a decent day. He went out to get food, played Minecraft with his friends and laughed a lot, just like he always did. But he ran out of time.</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p>Dream couldn’t breathe. He slid down against the wall, holding his hands tightly against his chest and tried to regain the control. He was shaking.</p>
<p>The panic attacks had started a while back. They had taken him by surprise: he had no previous experience with them. He could only remember the horrifying realization of not being able to control himself at all. And the weakness. Being stripped from power over your own body, he thought he was going to die. Dream felt the walls closing in. Beads of sweat ran down his face as he fought to keep his breathing under control after he’d successfully managed to calm down enough to catch it. He looked around, eyes locking on the showerhead. </p>
<p>That could work.</p>
<p>He raised his shaking hand and reached for the shower tap. He managed to turn on the water flow, quickly making sure the water was as cold as possible.</p>
<p>He let out an empty sob the second the cold water hit him. It was like his savior, arriving with help for the poor boy in need. Like the light at the end of a tunnel.</p>
<p>Things had gotten out of hand.</p>
<p>He never meant to let things get this far but he didn’t listen to his body when it tried to warn him. Tried to tell him to stop, to take a break. Working constantly, talking with people for hours, coming up with new ideas for products and videos… All that had taken him close to the edge. He’d played a fun game of manhunt with his health, mental and physical, trying to run away from the symptoms of exhaustion. But he couldn’t run forever. He was like a time bomb, waiting for the time to run out only for him to collapse and build himself up with less and less pieces until the timer went off again. </p>
<p>The tired man rested his head against the wet tiles as he let the water wash off the tear stains and the pain. It was a brief relief, a moment of ease from the constant feeling of suffocation.</p>
<p>How could he let this happen to him? He, out of all people-</p>
<p>“Sometimes all I think about is you~”</p>
<p>Dream opened his tired eyes. His phone just rang. He knew exactly who the caller was, there was only one person who had that song as the ringtone. Their joke. He looked down, realizing he still had his phone in his soaking wet hoodie pocket. It was a miracle it still worked, not that Dream really cared at the moment.</p>
<p>For a second he considered not answering but he knew the man, he knew he’d call until Dream picked up.</p>
<p>“G-god damn it, George”, Dream muttered, his voice breaking slightly. He closed the tap and took out his surprisingly dry phone. For a second he just stared at the screen announcing the incoming call. He sighed, and answered.</p>
<p>“Hey idiot, where are you? You told me you’d be online by seven you prick!” George’s loud voice made him wince. Why was the other so… him?</p>
<p>“Sorry, I must’ve lost the track of time”, Dream whispered, praying his voice wouldn’t break. </p>
<p>“Yeah, you better-”, George started, but stopped. “Why are you whispering?”</p>
<p>Dream hated George. The other was so loud and so arrogant and so observant. He always knew when the younger was down and was always the one to call him out on his bullshit. He hated how George always managed to call him when he was feeling down and how he always managed to pull him out of it.</p>
<p>He hated that man’s guts.</p>
<p>Instead of answering, he let out a shaky breath, as if to alarm the other.</p>
<p>“Dream..?” George’s voice was soft, a stark contrast to earlier. It was only a matter of time until he put the pieces together, just like he always did.</p>
<p>They were silent for a second.</p>
<p>“George?”</p>
<p>“Yes, Dream?”</p>
<p>“Have you ever had a… a burn out?” Dream mustered all what was left of his energy to ask the other this.</p>
<p>“I have.” </p>
<p>On the inside Dream was surprised to hear this. His body was too worn out to react, however. Why didn’t he know about this.</p>
<p>“You want to hear about it?” Dream hated how soft George’s voice was, it was calming and infuriating at the same time. He hummed quietly, hoping the other heard it. </p>
<p>The sweat from earlier had been replaced by freezing droplets of water, he was completely soaked. The coldness that had brought him calmness turned more and more uncomfortable by seconds. He didn’t have socks on so it wasn’t a wonder he couldn’t really feel his toes. But still he sat there, on the wet ground, and listened as George cleared his throat and started talking.</p>
<p>“The first burn out I can remember happened in university. We had a big project coming up but I was a little behind the schedule. You know how I’ve always been pretty good at school stuff? Well, I wanted to tryhard university too. I just hadn’t understood yet how difficult it’d be. Long story short I completed the project but couldn’t do anything for the next few months. The professors forgave me when I explained I was gone because of mental issues”, George told his story in a familiar manner. He knew Dream would appreciate it, even though the younger didn’t say anything at all. “During those two months or so I just laid there. Nothing mattered at all. It was dark. I got up occasionally just to eat and to play with you guys.”</p>
<p>Dream could hear George smiling on the other side of the phone.</p>
<p>“You and Sapnap really pulled me out from there eventually.”</p>
<p>Fresh tears threatened to make their way down Dream’s cheeks. He’d helped George and George understood.</p>
<p>“Is that what this is all about? Are you having a burn out?” George asked carefully.</p>
<p>“I-I think so?” Dream wasn’t sure what this was, all he knew was that he’d pushed himself over the edge with too many responsibilities. His time ran out once again.</p>
<p>“Where are you?”</p>
<p>“... The shower.”</p>
<p>“Is there water there?”</p>
<p>“... Maybe?”</p>
<p>“...Dream, I swear to God If you don’t get out of there immediately and come talk to me on discord within ten minutes I will teleport to America and kick your sorry ass, you pissbaby.”</p>
<p>George’s sudden outburst made Dream smile a little. He felt warm inside.</p>
<p>“Okay, mom”, he whispered.</p>
<p>“Seriously, Dream, you know that we’re here for you right? Me and Sapnap”, George returned to his earlier tone. </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>After the call ended Dream placed the phone down and leaned fully against the wall. The cold surface wasn’t comfortable at all. It didn’t bring him the same feeling of  grounding as it had fifteen minutes prior. As much as the cold water had helped him momentarily, it had left him freezing on the floor, alone.</p>
<p>But he wasn’t alone. He only now realized it, as he slowly stood up, water dripping from his clothes and hair. He had people around him at all times, people he could trust and talk to. He hated himself for not being strong enough to get help from them. He was too weak to open up, too proud of being known for being fiery and cheery at all times. Learning to open up to people close to him was going to be the hardest road trip he’d been on. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready to take it yet.</p>
<p>He’d probably never learn to open up, that just wasn’t a part of his personality. But maybe with time…</p>
<p>He opened his Spotify on his phone to play some random music to distract himself while he changed his clothes. He kept the music playing while preparing to face George, again. </p>
<p>He was an idiot.</p>
<p>His body was still weak but it was recovering from earlier. His head hurt and he was still very cold, but at least his breathing was back to normal. He could’ve sworn his heart was still beating way too fast as he opened his pc.</p>
<p>George’s loud yelling was the first thing he heard through the call. He’d apparently been 1 and a half minutes late.</p>
<p>Yep, he definitely hated George.</p>
<p>------<br/>The End<br/>------</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>